New Newsletter, New Me
New š ±ļøountry
Disclaimer: This was written about two weeks ago. Iām not behind the timesāI am simply very busy and am not to be bothered.Ā
Hold on
Letās get this shit
Letās get this shit
Letās get this shit
Top of the morninā
Top of the morninā
Top of the morninā
Top of the morninā
Top of the morninā
Top of the morninā
Top of the morninā
Hold on
Letās get this shit
Letās get this shit
Letās get this shit
Letās, hmm
I hear the murmurs. Iāve read my messages. I know. The people are hungry, and Iām the lunch lady. A real kitchen witch, if you will. Anyway, I donāt have quite enough time to get a full stack out, but I do have enough time (barely!) to voice my opinion on some chunes. This one goes out to all the baby-back B-words that canāt handle a full length stack (myself included). I hope youāre hungry.
Heavy Hitters
My editor (sup girl!) tells me that the Real Hot Ones schtick is ālameā but āpulled off in such a way that itās funny.ā It seems to have been a bit of laughing at me and not laughing with me which somehow transformed into both laughing at me and with me, which I canāt really comprehend. Itās cool, though. I can take the heat, but not for too long. This time around, though, Iāve got even more Hot Ones, which I will be referring to as āHeavy Hittersā from here on out. I knowāitās a truly inspired name, but then again, Iām a truly inspirational guy.Ā
Talk is cheap. Letās get this shit.
The Melodic Blue by Baby Keem
Given that this is by far the youngest substack in your inbox, it only makes sense that Baby Keem, the youngest rapper of all time, gets a little bit of coverage. However, his age is a bit confusing. How does a baby know so many bad words? How does a baby get so horny? How does a baby have so many flows? How did a baby have at least a hand in producing every single song on this record (even producing two songs by himself)? How does a baby sound like heās having this much fun? Well, I can only answer the last question, and itās a simple answer: babies can be and do whatever they want! But maybe they shouldnāt. If anything, The Melodic Blue shows that Baby Keem still has a lot of growing to do. Keemās randomness and volatility are what make him tantalizing as a rap prospect, but sometimes, especially on āsouth africaā and ācocoa,ā he just blends in with the rest of the crowd. Whatās more, he often says some downright foul things (see lines like āAllah, Allah, Shabba Rank, we be fuckinā til it stankā or āIām tired of the boogers, these big protein boogers, get that weak shit out of my face.ā HUH?).
Then again, Baby Keem is only a baby, so maybe I should go easy on him. In time, heāll grow into the rapper that we all know he can be. When The Melodic Blue is sophomoric and color-by-number, it can be hard to listen to, but when itās good, which it often is, itās really good. (That said, if the next release sounds like this, there will be problems.)
Baby Gangster, Vol. 2 by Top$ide and T.Y.
Top$ide is so fucking good, man. He assembles the most perfectly funky and hypnotizing beats in a Detroit scene thatās bursting at the seams with funky, hypnotizing beats. His instrumentals are the off-kilter yin to the rappers of the sceneās laconic-yet-menacing yang, working together in perfect harmony to make nothing but knockers. It would be rude if Top$ide didnāt spread the wealth across the country, so he first decided to gift Rochester, New Yorkās weirdo freak RX Papi with the beats he needed to realize his true potential, and now he has moved onto T.Y. of Curren$yās Jet Life fame.
Everything goes off as expected: Top$ide goes absolutely stupid on the boards, and T.Y. largely does his thing on the mic, especially on āTRAPPIN ALL WINTER.'ā Truth be told, though, T.Y. could do just about anything on these beats and it would sound immaculate. Hell, I could probably write a sixteen or two and Top$ide would make me sound like a teenaged struggle rapper who thinks heās on the come-up (high praise to a guy like me). T.Y. is not a bad rapper by any stretch of the word, but he could be a better, more interesting rapper. In the end, though, it doesnāt matterāanything Top$ide puts out is good, and this collab with T.Y. is no exception.
All Roads Lead to the Gun II by Militarie Gun
This entire EP is like midwest emo, but for grown-ups. Itās not about suburban angst, nor is it about teenage heartbreak. Instead, Militarie Gun tackles grown topics like self-improvement and the eternal struggle between passion and livelihood. Itās real good!
āBig Biteā by Angel Du$t
When Baltimoreās Angel Du$t dropped this track, they gave strict instructions to play it at a very high volume. Being the rule-following rule follower that I am, I complied, and Iām so glad I did. This shit rocks. I mean, what else do you expect from a band fronted by the legendary Justice Tripp of Trapped Under Ice that also features several members from Turnstile? Thatās right. You expect nothing but the best. And oddly enough, this track has some hardcore flavor (perfect for the youngsters) sprinkled over a classic rock backbone (practically made for the oldtimers). Maybe that last bit disqualifies it from being included in this very infantile, jejune newsletter, but I donāt care.
āTop Picks for Youā by Injury Reserve
I donāt really like sad songs. Of course, I can appreciate them and will listen to them, but I donāt seek them out. And I definitely donāt listen to them on repeat. This song, āTop Picks for You,ā is different, though. It's a comforting kind of sad. Injury Reserveās Ritchie with a T and Parker Corey work in tandem as they deal with the devastating death of Stepa J. Groggs, realizing that their dear friend and bandmate will live on forever through his digital footprint. āTop Picks for Youā might sound a little industrial, a little weird, but it hits deep. Itās hitting me deep as I write this. Good.
Standout bar: āYour patterns are still in place and your algorithm is still in action / Just workinā so that you can just, jump right back in / But you aināt jumpinā back / Here just run it backā
āPorcelain Slightlyā by Lil Ugly Mane
This song is not on streaming*. Itās a goddamn shame. A sharp left-turn from the Memphis-adjacent Mista Thug Isolation, Lil Ugly Mane is now leaning directly into the shoegaze/hypnagogic pop (hate this phrase, but it works here) lane, and he is absolutely killing it! Throw the man a couple bones on Bandcamp. Itās good!
*It is on streaming now, but I will not be amending a damn thing.
āAll Overā by RP Boo
The nerve. The audacity. The cajones. How the fuck does RP Boo, Chicago Footwork legend and pioneer, think of flipping Phil Collinsās āI Donāt Care Anymoreā into this? Iāll tell you: heās the best. Thatās how. Get it through your thick skull. So good.
Quick Hitters
Iāve got more I want to cover, but Iām feeling like I donāt have the time to provide any deep insight into each song, so Iām going to blast through some recent smashes.
āHive Mindā by Tirzah featuring Coby Sey
Pretty good! Fatass bass!
āGĆ«t Busyā by Yeat
If I were still in high school, really good, but now, itās just pretty good.
āMaggotā by Amyl and the Sniffers
Gross and icky!
āFoundā by Tems featuring Brent Faiyaz
So good.
āSometimesā by Lance Skiiiwalker
Really really really good, but sometimes it doesnāt feel like Iām listening to a song at all, just the vibrations of the Kosmos proliferating though Lanceās ethereal voice and deliriously skronked-out beats.
āMake a Dimeā by Webbed Wing
So fucking 90s. Undeniable track.
āCanāt Do This Aloneā by Wiki and Navy Blue
Wiki donāt miss. Navy Blue donāt miss. This song, naturally, donāt miss. Good.
Homie Art Corner
Shouts out to the chill boys for doing what they do bestābe boys and chill. chill boys are five chill boys, and all they know how to do is chill and make enjoyable tracks. These songs fucking rule, these boys are fucking chill, and I need to put the people on! Theyāre too much fun!
PS Iāve created an Apple Music playlist compiling most* of the songs featured in this stack. It will be updated frequently. (Iāve also created a Spotify playlist for all the subhumans out there who refuse to see the light. May you soon see the errors of your ways.)
(Whoever at Substack made it so that I canāt embed this Apple Music playlist, your momās a hoe.)
*Couldnāt bring myself to add āTop Picks for You.ā Way too sad, so I added 454ās standout track āANDRETTIā in its place. Song is a bit old at this point, but it is insane. More on that later š