New City, New Me, Same Newsletter
The “On Deck” Onslaught, SLC Leakers Station, Not Taking the Piss, and No Passion, All Technique
The “On Deck” Onslaught
If you’re on TikTok—I assume you’re not because you’re reading this and therefore are a free-thinker—you’re probably well-familiar with the current sounds that are bubbling up.
“You must be talking about ‘Million Dollar Baby’!” No, I am not. While Tommy Richman’s little soundbite is, obviously, a top ten hit that could reach number one, I don’t care about this. It’s a fine chune that I accidentally put my students onto weeks ago, and now I am goddamned sick of it during class! But I’m just one guy. Tommy seems like a cool guy even though he’s just another disciple of Brent Faiyaz, and Sparkheem, the song’s producer and already legendary architect of free car music (more on this later), deserves his flowers. This time, I’ll live and let live.
Anyway, I’m talking about the rebirth of Gucci Mane’s “On Deck.” Maybe this is more for the YouTube music heads, but that’s not important. What matters is that rappers in their late teens and early twenties have flocked to the Nitti-produced deep cut from From Zone 6 to Duval, and for good reason.
The original “On Deck” is infectious. It kicks off with an ominous thud of deep, browbeat keys, setting the tone for what is certain to be a grievous black tie affair. Before you even realize that this is nothing more than a pump fake, Nitti charges the lane and posterizes his own instrumental with a bombast of slippery, synthesized melody. From then on, the guys are on go-mode. Gucci engages in some serious acrobatics, attempting to squash his rivals by running the three-man weave by himself. It’s stupid fun, especially when he laments that copycat-stricken road to stardom is wearing him thin:
It's underrated, unappreciated, highly-decorated
Damn, I been hella patient, but I'm losing all my patience
Many wanna duplicate, generate, penetrate
Innovative bachelor, Gucci Mane the bachelor
At the time, Gucci’s style was being bitten off left and right, so I feel for him, but there’s something so tickling about the possibility of a Guwop-anchored, 2008-era season of The Bachelor. Maybe that’s just my infatuation with reality television talking.
It’s a great song, especially for its time, but the rappers of the new and now are morphing it into something special, further cementing Gucci’s legacy in the process. Much like the G Herbo-sparked charge to drop a freestyle over Three 6 Mafia’s “Who Run It,” up-and-coming rappers are sprinting to Youtube to share their takes on Wop’s “On Deck,” and it all started with VonOff1700.
I don’t know much about VonOff1700, but this fool can most certainly rap. He’s only been in the game since 2020, but with his drawling, quick-lipped flow and insane work ethic, he’s already left an impressive wake of singles and loosies behind him. That said, going especially crazy in 2023 with numerous YouTube successes primed him for a massive hit.
Early in the year, he found it.
On January 12th, Von dropped “Opps On Deck,” a vehicle for him to spew his spindly threats, prove himself, and pay homage to Mr. Zone 6, something that he has done numerous times since. “Opps On Deck” has gone absolutely nuclear, netting Von over 3.7 million total views and nearly 15,000 new subscribers between January and March, according to Social Blade. Fucking hell—that’s not even including April, the month that this shit really popped!
I mean, the song is an ackshual banger! Von managed to lease the original “On Deck” beat from Nitti, and he more than does it justice. Where Gucci previously flipped and slid his way through the pockets of the instrumental, Von now punches a hole right through the middle, artfully dismissing his enemies while simultaneously proving that rapping isn’t just his hobby.
My apologies, though—sometimes I get a little excited. As I was saying, the numbers are somehow even crazier than they appear, and that’s because of TikTok. As of May 1st, VonOff1700’s song has been used in more than 15,000 videos, and that’s just in the videos that have used the track’s official audio. To wager a guess, “Opps On Deck” has been used in at least twice that number, thanks to the unofficial and reused sounds that run rampant on the app and divert money away from artists.
Obviously, “Opps On Deck” has changed Von’s life and will continue to do so, but it’s not just him who’s freaking it. Countless others have taken to YouTube and TikTok to premiere their own “On Deck” freestyles, and many of them are quite good.
Take DeeGlook and 1BoDean’s rendition, “Belt Boys,” for example. Where Von chose to chastise his opposition like a war technician, Dee and Bo opted for a more unbridled approach, launching immediately into rap hysterics. At times, Nitti beats the hell out of the guys, namely Dee, but their overall presence and Dee’s knack for finding insane pockets more than make up for it.
The remainder of the “On Deck” freestyles range from middling to very good, but none will top VonOff1700’s originator. Well, other than Gucci Mane’s true vanguard traack, of course. This type of old guard-praising rears its head every year or two, and nobody deserves this sort of renaissance more than Guwop.
Since he arrived, rappers of every generation and micro-generation have been influenced by him whether we as listeners realize it or not, and it’s going to be like this for a long time. He was that big and that inimitable, and it’ll be decades before we reach the bottom.
These types of old-to-new off-the-cuff bar challenges are always sensational and often revelatory. Well, until Montana of 300 comes along and ruins it, at least. If he’s hopping on a challenge, you already know that it’s busted. It’s all fun and games, though, until then, so let’s just hope that this kind of thing starts to happen more often, but without Montana feeling the need to chime in.
Fingers crossed!
SLC Leakers Station
I am a twenty-six year old man—what business do I have scouring YouTube for screen recordings of the many, many Instagram Live streams from random rappers that I don’t even really enjoy in order to find a snippet that I might like? The answer: not much. And yet, I continue to do it anyway.
There’s something thrillingly addictive about finding a diamond in the rough. It’s like mining back in the mid-1800s. As the prospectors spent years and years digging through permafrost and sifting through mud for the mere chance of sniffing a nugget of gold, I am willing to spend hours and hours tabbing through forums and clicking unmarked links for the chance of hearing something semi-decent. It seldom, if ever, happens, but that’s not why I do it. Rather, the thrill is in the hunt itself.
There is so much shit on YouTube that sifting through even a modicum of it all is nothing short of an ordeal. And, on top of that, it’s a quest that will seemingly never end, as there's a constant stream of musical barf being uploaded every single minute of every single day. It’s exhausting, but the mere exertion and potential of discovery is what drives me. Mining for snippets is a task that only a Sisyphean misanthrope with Herculean endurance could ever take on, but it’s worth it for the opportunity to separate the wheat from the proverbial chaff, so to speak. It’s a pastime fit only for a basement-dwelling RateYourMusic user. No hate—just facts.
Anyway, back to me. I love separating the tasty, ultra-listenable wheat from the fibrous, disgusting chaff that barely even qualifies as music. My obsession started with D Savage, then known as D Savage 2900 and previously as D Savage 3700, and the 2015 snippet of his song “I Know.” Really, it’s the perfect time capsule. Merely watching the snippet transports me back to early 2016, a time when I was just starting to refine my musical preferences.
In the snippet, D Savage and a friend find themselves alone in a parking lot, and they take this opportunity to drop a few lines and blare some unreleased music. The star is, of course, “I Know,” a tight tune of effervescent ignorance with a blissfully blown-out instrumental. Or so it appeared.
Because the preview was played through a car’s speakers and filmed on an old iPhone—two levels of sonic decay—“I Know” sounded massive with its distortion and video degradation-induced low pass. Fans clamored for an official release, but it seemed like they’d never get it. Remarkably, the song was released nearly a year later, and teenagers were more than ready to tear shit up with this as their soundtrack. They quickly realized that they were a bit too eager, as the official version of “I Know” was much smaller and more contained than their beloved snippet for the above reasons. It’s still great, but it’s not the special, era-defining track that it was supposed to be.
And that’s the nature of snippets. They seldom live up to the hype (with the exception of “Million Dollar Baby,” of course, which has recently graduated into the real world and already venerated by Brooklynites and LESers—I’ve already had enough!), but that’s half the appeal. There’s always the hope that a snippet-turned-official release is good, and the anticipation makes the stakes that much higher.
Currently, for me, I cannot unhook myself from the deliciously baited snippets from Pi’erre Bourne’s Made in Paris sessions. I don’t particularly love Pee as a rapper, but he does manage to captivate my attention from time to time. Ever heard “Drake and Chill”? It’s life-changing. Regardless, Pi’erre has a ludicrous amount of leaks and snippets. Some are very good, and some are very bad, and there’s little in between. Still, I sift through them from time to time, just to be sure nothing’s slipped past my radar.
That said, the Made in Paris snippets are special. They all pretty fucking good, even great at times. It’s exactly the brand of Pi’erre that I enjoy. He’s smooth, sweet, and horny as all hell. It’s fun shit that’s easy on the brain. These bits are an aural salve to a guy like me. I hear so much crap that these snippets do for me what driving under a bridge during a rainstorm does for a nervous driver. I never thought that I’d say some stupid shit like this, but I’m finding peace in these snippets.
Made in Paris was rumored—often by The Man in Purple himself—to be released in March. Clearly that didn’t happen, and now I’m stuck re-watching hours-long Live recordings. It’s cool, though, because these morsels really are that good, especially “Wasting Time.”
Unfortunately, “Wasting Time” has been wiped off of YouTube (a common problem faced when attempting to uncover a beloved snippet—thank god for Instagram and SoundCloud, I guess!), but it was so damn good. I couldn’t believe my ears the first time that I heard it. Feast yours. PLEASE CLICK; I’M BEGGING YOU PLEASE.
It’s lilting and unsteady, yet near-beautiful at the same time. Pee doused his oft-reused bassline with a wave of accordion-tinted synthesizers and turned the melody to eleven. It’s cute! Especially the healthy dose of self-mythologizing as he croons about a number of failed relationships, lamenting that these girls don’t realize that “[t]he grass ain’t greener on the other side / Girl, you know it’s purple at my place.” It’s as if he’s trying to convince his girl that his life is like no other and that she needs to see it before she can believe it. I think that’s lovely!
Really, though, “Wasting Time” is a perfect snippet. It’s short, sweet, and says just enough to get people interested in the song. It’s as shameless as it is charming. That said, this shit needs to come out for the summertime. I need a song that I can infinitely loop and drive around aimlessly for a bit, and, if this song is released, it could easily fill that slot.
That's the problem with snippets and leaks, though. They may never see the true light of day, no matter how bad we want them nor how long we searched. Sometimes, snippets are removed, a classic case of bad things happening to good people. Remember: tough times never last—only tough people do. Stay strong, and just know that some things aren’t meant to be.
Not Taking the Piss
It’s been rumored that British-Italian designer Jordan Luca’s eponymous shirting label is trying to span Britain’s Savile Row and the Italian tradition of fine tailoring, and he seems to be doing a fine job!
That said, the young designer has done one thing that is truly despicable. Honestly, I don’t even want to write what he did. It’s that foul. I mean, my own mother reads this crap, and I fear that her reading such foul things will cause her to disown me. I’m a mama’s boy! This cannot happen to me.
And yet, I must expose the faux pas committed in the name of “subverting modern fashion.” If I am disowned, so be it. I’m risking my familial relationship in the name of espousing what is truly right and just (chorus: truly right and just). Here goes.
Jordan Luca thought it would be a good idea to take inspiration from Liam Neeson and craft a pair of denim trousers that have been treated in such a way that is completely stonewashed, save for the crotch-region, giving off the illusion that the person wearing the garment has soiled himself. Disgusting, no?
I mean, come on, Jordan! Who in their right mind wants to look as if they share incontinence with Neeson, a self-proclaimed former racist who dubiously announces that he has changed his ways? “Not I,” said the lowly, rube-ish writer. Not I.
No Passion, All Technique
God damn it! I love being me. Who else is going to give you all this game for the free-free? Nobody! Who else is going to do it to the very best of their abilities? Again, nobody! God blessed me with a gift, and I need to thank somebody! So, with everything I have and everything I’ll ever have, I want to thank you for reading this shit. It means the world to me.
One of Them Nights by Sparkheem
As I said earlier, Sparkheem and Mannyvelli* pioneered the sound of free car music that’s coursing through the DMV right now, and they’ve parlayed that into mainstream success by working with Brent Faiyaz and the inescapable Tom R (or, to be clear, Tommy Richman).
Despite their deplorable and fiscally responsible turn to the mainstream, Sparkheem and Manny show no signs of leaving their foundational genre in the dust. At the end of March, Spark dropped One of Them Nights, his most recent compilation tape, recruiting rappers from both the DMV and the rest of the Eastern Seaboard to accent his mechanical, funky sound. With vocal assists from local heroes like scene standout KP Skywalka, breakout-ready Paco Panama, Lil Xelly, HavinMotion, Lil Dude, and even Atlanta’s Tony Shhnow, he proves that free car can take over the country if driven to it.
I mean, I don’t think it’s possible for someone to hear a song like “Auntie Anne’s,” “Fold,” or “Y U Trippin” and not be hooked from the jump. But maybe that’s just me. Good.
*They couldn’t have done it without Dolan Beats!
We Don’t Miss by Papo2oo4 and Subjxct 5
The title says it all. As a rapper, Papo2oo4 does not miss. As a producer, Subjxct 5 does not miss. As a tandem, these two New Jersey legends do not miss! Apt project title, too. This song somehow reigns supreme in the pack, and it marks the return of Louis Brodinski. You already know that I’m in there like swimwear. Good tape.
“Scared Money” by Stalley featuring Kevin Durant
No offense to the Maybach Music legend Stalley, but if Kevin Durant weren’t on “Scared Money,” I wouldn’t know it even exists. The fact that KD is on the track doesn’t really make me want to listen to the song, either. Rather, I’d prefer to tune into his verse and move along. It’s mean, but it is true. And, based on the most replayed part of the video, most everyone is in agreement.
Kevin Durant has solid taste in rap—especially grown, nouveau boom-bap in the vein of Jim Jones’s entry to the Gangsta Grillz series, 38 Spesh, Benny the Butcher, and Sy Ari Da Kid—and has even produced a track for Dave East, but I never expected something like this. KD released a song with LeBron James back in 2018, but it was nothing more than ESPN fodder.
His collaboration with Stalley, though, is different. On the song, he carries himself like a rapper, flowing effortlessly over the Bam-produced instrumental. His flow is a little weird—slower than I expected—but he sounds good—confident, even. Unfortunately, Stalley, refusing to have his pants pulled down on his own song, decides to drown out Durant’s closing bars by very loudly and atonally moaning. I digress. In short, KD raps the way that he plays basketball. It’s solid as hell and subtly flashy. I wouldn’t seek him out, but I’d listen to a solo tape once or twice. Whatever.
That said, his desire to rap during the offseason does not bode well for any of his postseason dreams. Read this article that I wrote for On The Button to learn why a hooper-turned-rapper will never win a championship.
“Numbers on the Board” by Missing Link featuring Gridiron
Celeb Shot! From Hardcore’s Historian, E. L. Sale:
Check it—we're diving headfirst into the scorching hot collab between NYC's Missing Link and Boyertown-Philadelphia-Detroit-Grand Rapid's butt-hardcore supergroup Gridiron. These two have just unleashed a track that already has the beatdown sect buzzing. Strap in, my friends—Missing Link and Gridiron just dropped a bombshell.
Folks, “Numbers on the Board” is fight music in its purest form. Raw ass lyrics meet gritty, gut-wrenching breaks, mixed with the heaviest of riffs in a sonic onslaught that'll leave you seeking blood, beef, and time spent with enemies. Put simply, this track doesn't hold back. It's a hardcore aficionado's dream come true. Good.
“AGORA EU NÃO QUERO AGORA É TCHAU” by CAO$ NO BEAT
I’ll never not enjoy a Belo Horizonte funk track, and this is no exception! It might be for you, but it isn’t for me. Good.
“Suffocate” by Knocked Loose featuring Poppy
“Listen to that reggaeton breakdown! Who else is doing it like this??” say the has-beens on the internet and in Middle America. To which I respond, “Nobody!” Not because I agree, but rather because I think it is disgusting. There’s nothing good about this song, from the Poppy feature and the questionable reggaeton-flavored breakdown to the SpongeBob-ass vocals and tacky buzzsaw guitars. This shit sucks, man, and I’m not afraid to stand up for myself. Not good. Bad video, too!
“Say Dat Again” by Duwap Kaine
Duwap Kaine, Savannah’s most prolific rapper and producer, churns out songs at a clip that would put prime Lil B to shame. Since 2016, he has dropped 202 singles, four EPs, 28 mixtapes, and 13 albums. Insanity. They’re all good, too, so it should come as no surprise that his latest release, “Say Dat Again,” is also wonderful. Good.
“#Richaxxhaitian” by Mach-Hommy and KAYTRANADA featuring 03 Greedo
You subhuman troglodytes might not realize it, but this shit is a little too easy on the ears…I don’t want to say much more than that out of fear of the DMCA Takedown request from Hommy, KAYTRANADA, and the always perfectly out-of-place 03 Greedo, but it’s good! Seeing Mach-Hommy’s progression from charging $100+ for high-end “art” tapes like Haitian Body Odor to this is…*wipes tears from eyes* nothing short of inspiring. Shout out to all the zombies, man. No one does it like them.
“cold” by toughlovepunch
This Michigan-ified, Kanye-sampled-jacked flip is crazy—just crazy enough to have me agog. Well done, Punch. Good.
“At Home” by Mexikodro
Rap producers get tired of making beats. By the time they pop, they’ve been making the same type beat for years and years, and, without fail, they inevitably decide to take their talents to the recording booth in search of true stardom. When this happens, it’s usually a travesty, but every now and then, it’s a revelation.
Mexikodro’s turn to the booth is nothing short of Christ-like. He takes his plugg sensibilities and freaks them 2000s-style, especially on “At Home” and “Overnight.” The latter is only 37 seconds long, but it’s one of my favorite songs in a long time, thanks to its snippet-like nature. As such, it doesn’t have a music video, so we must settle for “At Home.” Fine by me. Good.
Poetic Demonstration Station
Of my non-journalistic influences, Frederick Seidel is damn near at the top. Yes, he’s kind of a piece of shit, but he has yet to do anything greviously wrong. He’s a product of his time, and though I will never condone his womanizing and assholery, his swagger, panache, and constant boundary skirting are undeniable, in my eyes at least.
Seidel was born in 1936 and is somehow still kicking. He’s a rich little guy from St. Louis who, after being encouraged and then promptly scorned by T.S. Eliot, decided to lay waste to the world of poetry by writing the exact opposite of what poetry was considered to be. He refuses to be humble, often name-dropping his preferred brand of luxury motorcycles (Ducati) and the exotic places that he’s visited in his free time.
He doesn’t give a fuck, and, when driven to it, he can write the most foul, visceral verse imaginable, earning himself epithets like, “the most frightening American poet ever,” and, “the Darth Vader of contemporary poetry.” The latter is not very cool, but I see the vision. Truly, some of his writing is at once chilling and cringe-inducing. I mean, he’s a proudly Jewish man whose first collection is titled Final Solutions. He relishes in making people squirm.
Regardless, Seidel’s writing is high-flying, unlike anything else, and seldom out of touch. This fool can turn a phrase like no one else. Between that and the propensity to name drop, Seidel has a heavy influence on me, even though he has written a sizable number of poems that I do not resonate with. Still, read some shit like “Rain in Hell” or “Pressed Duck,” and tell me that it isn’t an incredible display of give-no-fuckery.
I recently tapped into an old New York Times article called, “The Laureate of the Louche,” by Wyatt Mason, and it only made me appreciate Seidel more. He is a dirty old man, yes, but he’s also a master of form. He writes exactly the way that he wants to write and can envision an idea and execute it with neither flaw nor struggle nor compromise. And that’s more than most others—poets and writers alike—can say.
Give it a read here.
That is all. Un besito.
Endtroduction
Contrary to popular belief, we still out here doing this shit and living life in ways that most can’t even comprehend!
Every time I drop a new stack, it’s the same old story, song, and dance. It’s always some variation of “I know it’s been a long time, but I’m back! This time really is different! I will be dropping some shit every week! And I will start showing up for you like I said I would last year. I’m going to take you to soccer practice! Help you with your math homework! Maybe even teach you how to twist up a tight, pearly jay!” Yeah, right! You know how this story ends. It’s never been true, and it’ll never be true. Sorry, spud.
That said, I am back, and I’ve decided to commit myself to the whole quality over quantity rigamarole. I’ve been honing my craft with On the Button—a group of fellows who do not play when it comes to cutty NBA and college basketball coverage—and *puts on LinkedIn voice* I am so thrilled to share a handful of these infallible and undeniable works of art with all of you today.
Sink your teeth into this horrendously long series in which I compare every single fucking NBA team to some sort of musical act. It’s a good time. Watch me wax poetic with me about the unsurprising inability of the top one percent of professional basketball players to rap with any sort of panache. You might like it. I sure did. And, if you have the strength, join me as I brainstorm countless potential replacement names for the Utah Jazz. This one especially helped me spread my wings and soar to new heights, and I know that it’ll do the same for you.
*Takes of LinkedIn Voice*
Despite all of this, I’ve longed for something more. I love OTB, but I need to talk my shit sometimes! I can do both. In fact, I will do both, but I’m going to do it on my time. And I’m going to do it by doing something that I’ve been doing longer than anything else: me.
When inspiration strikes, I always strike back. I know damn well that it’s going to be as beautiful as it is brutal, like an even-fought heavyweight boxing match. So yeah, No Oldtimers is back.
Not like it ever really left, though.
It was just resting. Recharging. Getting ready to go ballistic. Like a toddler taking a nap.
Don’t believe me, just watch.
Blow me.
⬇️ Comment below ⬇️
So good Jim! That D Savage snippet transported me so far back in time, I remember seeing it on twitter
Damn! This might be the best one yet!!